It’s a strange old feeling when your head finally starts to feel lighter, but your body still insists on playing the world’s longest soap opera.
For weeks now, my mental health has been on the up. The fog that’s been hanging around for far too long has started to lift, and I can actually see colour in the world again. The dark corners feel a little less threatening. I’ve been writing more, laughing more, and – here’s a shocker – actually looking forward to things.
One thing that’s helped massively is going for a walk every single day. Rain or shine, I’ve been getting out, moving, breathing, noticing the world around me. It’s done wonders for my mood… turns out the outside world isn’t as terrifying as my sofa sometimes makes it seem.
But physically? That’s another story. My body is still running on whatever the opposite of premium fuel is. Achy, drained, and with the energy levels of a Victorian fainting couch. I’ve got a blood test booked in the next few days, so hopefully we can get to the bottom of what’s going on. Whether it’s something minor or a full-on “ah, so that’s why I’ve felt like an old man in a wind tunnel,” at least I’ll have answers.
In the middle of all this, I’ve been throwing a ridiculous amount of time and effort into setting up my new business. It’s a lot… but it’s exciting. It’s that good kind of stress, the kind that actually feels like building something rather than just surviving something. I’ve been pouring every ounce of focus I have into making it work, and while my body’s clearly annoyed at the hours, my mind has been thriving on the challenge.
So, for now, it’s a strange dual reality: mentally in the best place I’ve been for a long time, physically still playing catch-up. But I’ll take it. I’d rather build from a strong mind than a strong body any day, because at least one of them is now in fighting form.
Here’s to answers, recovery, and the next chapter—preferably one where my body and brain finally decide to work together for once.