So here’s the good news. Really good news, in fact.
Mentally, I’m feeling the best I’ve felt in a long time.
After a recent change in antidepressants, it’s like the fog in my head finally lifted. The world hasn’t become a musical, I’m not waking up whistling show tunes, but my mind? It feels clearer. Lighter. Like I’ve finally come up for air after months of treading water. The heaviness that used to cling to my thoughts like wet clothes has eased off, and I’m finding joy and humour again in things I’d forgotten I loved.
But before you cue the celebratory trumpet fanfare, let’s talk about the rest of me.
Physically, I’m still knackered. I don’t mean “a bit sleepy” tired. I mean bone-deep exhaustion that seems to be welded to me from morning to night. My energy levels are laughable. (Well, I laugh, because if I didn’t I’d cry… and I don’t have the energy for that either.)
And as for the meds. While they’ve done wonders upstairs in the mental department, they’ve come with some, shall we say, unwanted plot twists. I can’t go too far from home without them reminding me they’re in charge. There are bodily side effects that are, frankly, inconvenient, uncomfortable, and not exactly conducive to any plans that involve spontaneity, travel, or standing up for too long.
It’s frustrating, being in this weird in-between place. My mind’s finally ready to take on the world, but my body is tapping the brakes like a nervous driving instructor. Some days, I feel like I’m wearing a full mental power suit, and then I go to the shops and have to sit down halfway through the fruit aisle. It’s a humbling experience, to say the least.
Still, despite all that, I feel hopeful. Because something is working. And even if my body hasn’t quite caught up yet, it feels like I’ve taken a big step in the right direction. The fact I can see the difference and talk about it without spiralling is something I’ll take as a small win. Or maybe a medium win. Let’s not be stingy.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Yep, I get that,” then please know you’re not alone. Switching meds, navigating side effects, trying to find your balance… it’s messy. But it’s also worth it, when it starts to click. I’ve still got a way to go, but I’m finally on the right road. Just with a few extra rest stops along the way.
If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. Here are some organisations that can help:
- Mind – www.mind.org.uk
Support, advice, and helplines for anyone experiencing mental health issues. - Samaritans – 116 123 (free, 24/7) or www.samaritans.org
For when you just need someone to talk to. - NHS Mental Health Services – www.nhs.uk/mental-health
Information about talking therapies and local support. - Side Effects Info (NHS) – www.nhs.uk/medicines
To check up on the common and not-so-common side effects of medication. - Blurt Foundation – www.blurtitout.org
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