The last few months have been… complicated. I’ve dipped my toe into dating again, but if I’m honest, those encounters weren’t really about romance. They were me trying to numb the sharp edges of depression, reaching for a connection that wasn’t fully rooted in who I am when I’m well. And while those moments filled a gap, they didn’t feel like love – or even like me.
But things are shifting. I’m slowly climbing back to something like “normal” – whatever that means these days. And with that comes a different kind of desire. Not for distraction. Not for temporary company. But for a mate. Someone to laugh with, grow with, and- let’s be real – share the boring Tuesday nights with as much as the exciting Saturdays.
Here’s the tricky part: I already know a few amazing women. Friends. Women I trust, respect, and genuinely enjoy being around. And naturally, feelings have crept in. Which leaves me asking the age-old question: is it worth risking a friendship to see if there’s something more?
The risk is obvious – you put yourself out there, confess the crush, and it might not land. The dynamic could shift. The friendship might feel different. And when you’re just emerging from a tough stretch mentally, that kind of vulnerability feels like walking a tightrope without a net.
But here’s the flip side: what if you don’t risk it? What if you never say anything, and years down the line you look back and wonder if that mate, the one you laughed with over endless coffees, could have been the one you laughed with for life?
Friendships already carry the building blocks of a relationship: trust, comfort, shared values, the knowledge of each other’s quirks and flaws. The spark is just the question mark.
So maybe the answer lies in honesty, but also timing. Don’t spring it out of nowhere. Feel the ground. Gauge if the friendship has a rhythm that could naturally bend toward romance. And ask yourself this: am I looking for love, or am I looking for validation? If it’s love, maybe it’s worth the gamble. If it’s validation, maybe wait.
Dating after depression isn’t about chasing what you missed. It’s about wanting the right things for the right reasons. And I think I’m finally ready to want properly again.