The last few months have been the hardest of my life. I’ve experienced loss, grief, and a level of emotional exhaustion I never thought possible. For a long time, I tried to keep it all together—forcing a smile, going through the motions, and pretending I was okay. But eventually, I reached a point where I couldn’t pretend anymore. Today, I’m sharing my story of stepping away from my job at Buzz Bingo to focus on my mental health, the journey of healing, and how I’ve found light again thanks to good living, incredible friends, and the unexpected gift of falling in love.
The Storm Before the Calm
When I lost my mother and stepdad last year, it felt like my world collapsed. Losing one parent is devastating, but losing two in such a short time is indescribable. I was overwhelmed with grief, trying to navigate life without two of the most important people in it. I thought I could cope by staying busy, burying myself in work at Buzz Bingo, and pushing my emotions aside. But the cracks began to show.
The job, which once brought me joy and a sense of community, started to feel like a burden. The constant pressure to appear cheerful and the fast-paced environment became unbearable. I was struggling to focus, my anxiety was through the roof, and there were days I simply couldn’t face the world. I knew deep down I needed time to heal, but I was scared to leave the stability of my job. I worried about how I would cope without that sense of routine, and whether I’d be letting people down.
Ultimately, I had to listen to my body and mind. I reached a breaking point and realized I couldn’t keep sacrificing my mental health. It was time to put myself first, so I made the incredibly tough decision to leave Buzz Bingo.
The Journey Back to Myself
Walking away from a job I’d known for years was terrifying. It felt like jumping off a cliff without knowing what was at the bottom. But in the quiet that followed, I finally had the space to grieve properly, to sit with my emotions instead of running from them. I started making small changes—taking daily walks, spending more time in nature, eating healthier, and prioritizing sleep. It wasn’t a sudden transformation, but slowly, I could feel the fog of grief and stress beginning to lift.
Good living became my new focus. I learned to be gentle with myself, to acknowledge that it’s okay to have bad days, and that healing is not a linear process. I began to appreciate the simple things again: a sunny day, the comfort of a good book, the calm of a quiet morning. These small moments of peace were the first signs that I was starting to find my way back.
The Power of True Friendship
I wouldn’t be where I am today without the incredible support of my friends. In a time when I felt most lost, they showed up in ways that left me speechless. Whether it was a phone call to check in, a message just to say they were thinking of me, or showing up at my door with a hug, my friends became my lifeline. They were there to listen without judgment, to let me cry when I needed to, and to remind me that it was okay to feel whatever I was feeling.
It’s during times of hardship that you discover who your real friends are. I’m so grateful for the ones who stood by me, who helped me see the light even when everything felt dark. Their support gave me the strength to keep moving forward, one step at a time.
Finding Love When I Least Expected It
Perhaps the most surprising and beautiful part of my journey has been falling in love. I wasn’t looking for it—honestly, I didn’t think I was ready. I was still piecing myself back together, and the idea of opening my heart felt impossible. But then, life threw me a wonderful curveball. I met someone who saw me, truly saw me, even in the midst of my grief and uncertainty. They didn’t try to fix me or rush me through my healing; they simply held space for me, loved me as I was, and reminded me of what it feels like to be cherished.
Falling in love has been a healing experience in itself. It’s shown me that even after great loss, there’s still room in my heart for joy and connection. It’s reminded me that it’s okay to let someone in, to allow myself to feel happiness again, and to believe in a brighter future.
Embracing a New Chapter
Today, I’m in a much better place. I still have moments when the grief sneaks up on me, and I imagine I always will. But I’m learning to live alongside it, rather than letting it consume me. I’ve built a life that feels more aligned with who I am now—a life centered on well-being, meaningful connections, and a lot of love.
Leaving my job at Buzz Bingo was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made, but it was also one of the best. It gave me the space I needed to heal, to focus on what truly matters, and to rebuild my life in a way that feels authentic. I’m endlessly grateful for the friends who walked this path with me, and for the unexpected love that has brought so much light back into my world.
If you’re reading this and facing a similar struggle, I want you to know it’s okay to take a step back. It’s okay to prioritize your mental health, to lean on your friends, and to take time to heal. You deserve to live a life that feels good, not just one that looks good from the outside. And sometimes, when you least expect it, life has a way of surprising you with something beautiful.